Ped Egg

I grasp the white orb in my right hand and take a good look at my left foot. I’ve had two glasses of wine and think my foot looks exactly like a hoof, rough and time worn, having crossed many miles in too many pounds to be forgiving. The Ped Egg is in my hand and I’m ready to assault the beachhead of my life’s mileage with this quasi cheese grater.

Sort of.

You’ve seen the commercial. You know, the one where a little vomit creeps up the back of your throat when the smiling talent made oh-so-cheerful by a good old fashioned foot flaying dump the skin shavings in to the trash can.

Ack.

But, I have to say, this product works pretty well. It’ll take a few hundred uses to make my tired dogs look like the happy feet of a toddler, but even after a couple of uses there is a noticeable improvement. I’m even inspired to paint my toenails hooker red, which is an even more noticeable change, but perhaps not an actual improvement depending on your perspective. Now, if they could just scrape away the memory of that commercial! That would be true innovation.

The Data: Ped Egg scored well for awareness garnering 59% in its first measurement period. Conversion potential is relatively low and the success index is average driven by average scores on all measures. So, “as seen on TV” may be a pretty good way to drive fast awareness capture sales commensurate with interest measured.

Tide with Dawn Stainscrubbers

Crowded around the kitchen sink filled with grease-slicked water, my mom said “now watch” and grasped the squeeze bottle of mysterious blue stuff, letting drip just one tiny drop of liquid wonder – Dawn – onto the surface. We all sucked in a breath as the grease snapped to attention and scuttled away, recoiling up the sides of the sink like a lobster trying to scramble from the pot. It was 1973 and it seemed like a miracle to a ten year old consigned to do the family dishes just one year earlier.

Many years of Dawn use later, I was excited to see this kitchen miracle and popular party trick expand into another room in the home—the laundry room. Tide with Dawn Stain Scrubbers dares to attack food stains with the power of Dawn. So says the bottle.

Not to be outdone by a detergent, I gave it a military strength test. I take a pillow case and stain it with stripes of ketchup, mustard and barbecue sauce – just like a kid or a drunk 27 year old would by rubbing his tired face into the pillow.

Then the games begin.

I cut the cloth into four equally stained segments and treat each differently:

1) Tide with Dawn in the washer as usual.
2) Tide with Dawn pretreated with Tide with Dawn, then wash as usual.
3) Trader Joe Detergent that smells really cool of lavender and righteousness.
4) Trader Joe pretreated with Trader Joe, which sounds just a little kinky if you ask me.

Now, Trader Joe is not exactly a stalwart of the stain-killing variety. And, my test results indicate that neither is Tide with Dawn, at least not under these torturous conditions. Tide with Dawn did kick the pants off Trader Joe (wonder what he wears under those pants). But it did not return the pillow case to its original pre-stained splendor. Nope, Tide with Dawn wouldn’t remove the stain from my reputation it I put that pillow case back on the bed, but hey since I’d torn it to shreds it’s no longer suitable for toddlers or 27 year olds anyway. So, it’s about as good as any other Tide but certainly no party trick.

The Data: Tide with Dawn has a strong success index at 123, but awareness and conversion potential are both on the low side. The success index is driven by high sharing scores indicating that the idea has talk value. Perhaps raising awareness would help maximize penetration by making those who are interested aware of the product.

Clorox Green Works

“What exactly is a coconut-based cleaning agent?” I ask myself as I ponder my purchase of Clorox Green Works spray cleaner and dish soap. Seems like you make soap with oil and caustic, or was that napalm? No, that’s with gasoline, “boiled carefully.” Well, maybe it’s just coconut oil soap. Whatever. I put it in the cart along side all of the other whatevers that I don’t know how they work. It doesn’t matter though because this one feels better because it’s green. In fact, I think I see all the other chemical horrors – toilet paper pregnant with lotion, coffee decaffeinated with lye, candy made with melamine – all scoot to the edges of the cart to escape the righteous glow of green.

One use at home and I am hooked. Love at first spray. Green Works is a great product. The spray cleaner cleans well, doesn’t streak, and smells clean. It doesn’t ream my sinuses with ammonia D or other vapors of poison. It actually smells like what I think clean should smell like. Inspired, I lift my shirt and spray both underarms. (I’m sure this is not recommended by the manufacturer).

The dish soap is equally divine. The squirt hole (technical term) is smaller than others, bucking the whole “make the hole bigger so they’ll use more” consumption tactic used by soaps first and popularized by beer companies not targeting people who want to get hammered and forget where they put their keys. Nope – Green Works actually enables you to use less product, thus feeling greener by the minute all the while ridding the kitchen of excessive filth and dishes your kids were supposed to do but didn’t. Ah – the sweet smell of green in tender shoots pushing good things into the world, one clean dish at a time. Well, I’ve done my part and now I can drive fast, with the air conditioning on high, and throw my trash out the window knowing that because with Green Works by my side I can still feel good about myself. I’ve done my one big thing. Now, it’s up to the rest of you.

The Data: Green Works reached 54% awareness in the first period of measurement. Its success index is above average at 116. With a 19% conversion score, it is one of the stronger items in the HotHouse. Talk value is part of what is driving this with skews toward sharing information about the product with others.

Nintendo Wii Fit

When you’re 12, it’s high time you figured out that your parents have been hypocrites all along. That’s about 2 years after you learn they’re dumb as a bucket of rocks and 15 years before you change your mind about that. So, it’s time really. Our son turned 12 last year and we bought a Wii for his birthday after relentless railing against gaming and screen time, going without broadcast television for 15 years, and inflicting an endless diatribe about the intellectual surplus created when people interact with each other instead of licking content from technology like treacle in the gutter.

Then came Wii and our resolve dissolved.

At first, it was energetic and fun. We as parents were vindicated in that this game system had our kids jumping and running in the living room albeit with carpet vapors and processed air instead of Oregon sunshine, but hey, there’s not that much sunshine in Oregon anyway, so BFD. It only took the kids a week to figure out how to play tennis with a few flicks of the wrist while sitting on the couch with their other hand deep in a bowl of Natural Cheetos. If we caught them, we turned it off, but kids are wily an can jump off the couch really fast, panting like all get-out when you walk in the room and flop down again equally quickly when you leave.

Then came Wii Fit.

This thing comes with a pad that you stand on to operate. It takes you through exercise routines and even Yoga – recording time spent, balance and control, and even form. My eight year old daughter learned more Yoga poses in a day than I did in a whole year of classes and she didn’t have to smell the sweat of the rail-thin stretchy bendy guy with the soul patch who would smile inappropriately at my fleshy behind during Down Facing Dog, which is a real slap in the face if you ask me, though I see my dog do it every day with a look of serene satisfaction right before she passes massive gas.

Anyway.

Way to go Wii! Kids off the couch. Bendy and whatever. No skinny sweaty dude.

All good things.

The Data: Wii Fit has an astonishing 75% awareness in the first period of measurement and a conversion rate of 25%, which is very high in this system. The success index is 139, the highest in the HotHouse to date. It has high internal scores across the board for consumption, producing and sharing. Strong all the way.